So often, I've found myself in a power struggle, seeking to control life itself, other people, situations, etc. because I want things to go my way. Sound familiar? Inevitably, that puts me in someone else's business: trying to change someone else, playing a god, and inevitably it leads me to feeling disappointed, wanting what is not available and feeling discouraged because of it. The argument with reality is tough, and it seems my mind (my ego) wants to attach to power and control anyway. It's having fun, but not the me that knows there's a different way. That's why I do The Work...because there is a different way, and it is peaceful - because The Work works. I sit with my mind, my ego joins of course (it loves to be part of everything), my heart opens up to it all, and we question the thoughts that would keep me thinking I need to control something to go my way. And then I see I don't need to control anything, and that my way may not be in my best interest after all.
I worked with a client who experienced intrusive and violent thoughts at random and most days. Years of trying to medicate them away (didn't work by the way), and condemning himself because they were thoughts he did not want or welcome. Anxiety, he thought, was a constant physical and mental state of being as he was waiting for these thoughts, experiencing the violent images that went along with them, hoping no one would find out, and wishing them gone. Here's what happened when he did The Work.
Is it true these thoughts are always intruding and defining you? Yes (even absolutely!)
What happened when he believed the thought about his thoughts? Fear, anxiety, sweats, secrets, treating himself and the thoughts like enemies.
Who would he be without the thought they're always intruding and defining him? Well, here he notices he has many times, even days, when the random thoughts don't appear. He can observe them with some curiosity, separate his sense of being from the thoughts, and just be. He notices they are temporary and realizes he doesn't have to believe any of them. He might even welcome them and watch them leave as randomly as they came. They're playing a movie and he's not the star of it anymore.
The mind is very powerful, and so is The Work. It's amazing to me every time how The Work meets any thought, any belief, and how the mind can question itself, welcome the ego and invite it to quiet down. Back to the heart, finding something that works and realizing there's nothing that needs to be controlled. No power struggle, just a joining of heart and mind in situation, and being part of it all...connected with peace. May we all know peace. Let's do The Work.
Weeds or Wishes ?