Have you sometimes found yourself going from peaceful to impatient, even disgusted; from feeling kind to feeling angry within minutes? Sometimes it doesn't take much: like when someone sounds demanding, blaming, stuck, uncooperative, or disinterested for the millionth time, or after a decade of struggling with repeated conflicts.
Good news is we are not our emotions, we are not our thoughts, even these reactions do not define who we are. We are having a very real human experience, fully experiencing whatever emotions arise, subject to the hundreds of thoughts that drop in every day. Because it's uncomfortable on any side of these reactions, it's important to take care of ourselves and practice responding in a way that can restore connection, compassion, and improved communication. As we know, there are distinct times that it is overwhelming, to be sure! It can feel like you might not be able to withstand the avalanche of fear, of worry, of grief, not be able to navigate the next crisis that is a real experience of loving a child who struggles with substance use. What can you do when this happens? First, I invite you to accept that this is the reality of things, and it will happen. Please develop a willingness to at least, whenever possible, NOT go to war with it. War continues the kind of battle that we can prevent or de-escalate. We can learn and practice ways to interrupt this heartbreaking battle. If there is to be a battle, let there be a battle cry to hold ourselves in gentle compassion of our human experience. Let there be a battle cry to feel, to comfort and care for ourselves, especially when it feels like we're in a war with ourselves, with circumstances, with people, with systems. The battle cry is calling out for us to give ourselves some much needed TLC. Here are some battle cry ideas to armor yourself with awareness, with compassion, with tender loving care:
You need you. Your child needs you. We all need each other. This is how Love moves in us and through us. We all need some Love don't we? I honor the Love that you are, the Love in you. I honor your fears too. They can guide you to truth, when they are questioned. When in truth, fear is transformed from misunderstanding to understanding and into the awareness of Love where peace can be found. I'll be sharing a gift with you, a healing session on November 18 to do this, so watch out for those emails soon. To support you with more and something that can enhance your healing practices, I invite you to download my free guide "How to Get Clear on Next Steps when Your Child Struggles with Substance Use". The guide offers you a way to build a foundation that can enhance your ability to identify and practice much needed skills of connection and communication, and especially when it gets challenging. It's something I use pretty much every day to re-mind myself how I want to show up and to identify how I'm going to show up more peaceful and lovingly pro-active. Click here to get your (free) copy. And please share the link with friends who may benefit from the guide also. Let's do Love together! Let there be peace! Sometimes it must and can co-exist with the challenges we face. Let peace begin with each of us. Are you with me? Say "yes" to being with yourself and choose Peace. I'm with you! Love wins here! Ps. Do you know someone who may enjoy reading my monthly newsletter, Love wins!? New friends can join our Love wins! community by clicking here. Pps. To get a jump on registration for Nov 18 Prescription for Peace, just click here. Ppps. Again, to download the free guide, just click here: "How to Get Clear on Next Steps when Your Child Struggles with Substance Use".
0 Comments
Loving a child who struggles with substance use causes WORRY. Not just a little, a whole lot! Right?!
Are they ok? Are they alive? They need treatment desperately, but not agreeing to it! I can't stand it any more! I'm losing them. I'm losing my mind, my health, my own life. I'm losing me! I don't have to tell you how difficult this path is loving a child through all the struggles of addiction. There is pain, there is tons of worry. We really, really need to know how to take care of it and ease the struggle. Let's look at some doable things you can do so you don't lose your mind entirely, so you don't lose you. You need you. Your child needs you. No matter what, you are needed in your own life, you do have your own journey, and it will contribute to your own unique footprint in this world. Worry is about the future. Let's talk about how to relieve the worry, and come back to the present. The here and now is where you will find RELIEF.
Let me know what else works for you and how some of the above works for you too. Let's continue to care for our worry and care for ourselves. Our kids don't make it unless we do. There's lots of tools, methods, and supports to make it, even if it is to just relieve the intense worry and grief until we can learn and practice more. We'll make it together. We can and so we will! Love wins here! For Peace and Possibilities, Joanne Ps. Do you know someone who may enjoy reading my monthly newsletter, Love wins!? New friends can join our Love wins! community by clicking here. |
Weeds or Wishes ?
|