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Have you ever found yourself frustrated that you really want something but it’s just so hard to make it happen? And maybe once you start a new goal, something happens and your best intentions are out the window?
How about these scenarios? I want to lose weight and I want to eat those cookies; I want to exercise or go to the gym and I don’t want to or can’t wake up early to fit it in; I want to go to Europe and I don’t want to spend the money; I want to switch jobs and I don’t want to shake up my life right now; I want to stop using substances and I don’t want to give up the thing that is reliable and available and helps me through the day. Notice the “and”. Notice how it is very possible to want something new, want some kind of change AND to also want something that will make it really hard to get it. This brings us to topic #3 from The Invitation to Change Approach ~ Ambivalence is Normal. Here’s an overview for your consideration: Ambivalence is Normal
Why it matters that Ambivalence is Normal
Life Application Ideas from Joanne:
I invite you to consider with an open mind, open heart, and with compassion how behaviors, emotions, attitudes actually make sense – in others and in yourself - and how there are many roads to travel, many ways to travel those roads, that we all have our unique perspective and thoughts about what will work for us, when and how AND even with the best intentions we might get sidetracked. Consider it's OK, put the puppy back on the paper and begin again. The time is always NOW. Breathe, touch your heart, feel the love in you, send it out to your child, to the world, to anyone who needs it. Love wins here! To learn more about The Invitation to Change Approach and access additional resources, please click here: https://cmcffc.org/about To Peace and Possibility! Joanne
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You know how it feels to want your child to heal, to recover, to make sense, to “get it” – but they don’t? Of course you know what would help them, if only they did it! And when they don’t, it can look like waves of anxiety, resentment, anger, disgust, exhaustion, depression, a sick to the stomach aching. A wanting things different asap can quickly have us seeking control in sneaky kind of ways. Sound kind of familiar?
Last week we discussed “Behaviors Make Sense” from The Invitation to Change Approach. The truth is that using substances fills a purpose, using meets various wants and needs. Sometimes it becomes as important as getting your next breath, or stopping excruciating physical or emotional pain. Our thoughts and physical needs can have us giving into temptation in an instant, now add to that an addiction and it begins to make more sense. Considering that behaviors make sense may not necessarily make it easy for you to withstand, but instead it can make it easier to understand and therefore actually help you to determine next steps. Let’s continue to seek understanding. For where there is understanding, there can be peace and reconnection to love and relationship. Topic #2: One Size Doesn’t Fit All
Why One Size Doesn’t Fit All Matters?
Life Application Ideas
“The advice you’ve been giving your family and friends turns out to be advice for you to live, not us. Become a student of yourself.” ~ Byron Katie I’ll send some more information about The Invitation to Change next week. Until then, I invite you to consider with an open mind, open heart, with compassion how behaviors, emotions, attitudes actually make sense – in others and in yourself - and how there are many roads to travel, many ways to travel those roads, that we all have our unique perspective and thoughts about what will work for us, when and how. Breathe, touch your heart, feel the love in you, send it out to your child, to the world, to anyone who needs it. Love wins here! To learn more about The Invitation to Change Approach and access additional resources, please click here: https://cmcffc.org/about To Peace and Possibility! Joanne The confusion, struggles, and stress while loving a child through their own challenges with substance use can claim your energies, your happiness, your peace, right? We need tools, methods, practices, skills that work. Read on for some of those!
For the next few months, I’ll be sharing with you a bit about each of the topics of The Invitation to Change Approach. The ITC (Invitation to Change) takes the best science has to offer, including compassion, and makes it easy to understand and put into action. It can work for the relationship with your child AND any relationship, even the relationship with yourself. I invite you to consider inviting change into your heart, into your relationships, into your life. You may be surprised that “change” is not as hard as one might believe. When I learn and practice new strategies that actually work (and those are the only ones I share), it brings more peace, it de-escalates tension, it increases my confidence, it strengthens my intention to show up in my life and for my son in ways that help us both. You are invited to more peace. Topic #1 ~ Behaviors Make Sense Behaviors make sense in some way. People use substances because it serves a purpose. You don’t have to like it, probably won’t, but arguing with the reality of it will cause more stress. Instead, seek to understand. Some reasons why people use substances or engage in related behaviors. I invite you to consider with compassion and kindness why any of us would reach for anything to accomplish the following:
People don’t use substances because they’re bad or crazy. They use substances because they work well, they’re fast, they’re reliable, and give a measure of personal control. They meet a need, they serve at least one purpose. Good to know, good to understand what's really going on. Why it matters that Behaviors Make Sense:
With curiosity, connecting to your heart, gaining clarity, and communicating from a place of understanding (doesn’t mean easy or in agreement or looking the other way) we can make a difference! I invite you to consider with an open mind, open heart, with compassion how behaviors, emotions, attitudes actually make sense – in others and in yourself. Breathe, touch your heart, feel the love in you, send it out to your child, to the world, to anyone who needs it. Maybe change is not as hard as we might believe. And you’re invited to find out. Let me know how you experience “making sense”. Love wins here! To learn more about The Invitation to Change Approach, please click here: https://cmcffc.org/about To Peace and Possibility! Joanne |
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