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Reflections

We surely need what works!

7/15/2022

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The confusion, struggles, and stress while loving a child through their own challenges with substance use can claim your energies, your happiness, your peace, right?  We need tools, methods, practices, skills that work.  Read on for some of those! 

For the next few months, I’ll be sharing with you a bit about each of the topics of The Invitation to Change Approach.  The ITC (Invitation to Change) takes the best science has to offer, including compassion, and makes it easy to understand and put into action.
 
It can work for the relationship with your child AND any relationship, even the relationship with yourself.

I invite you to consider inviting change into your heart, into your relationships, into your life.  You may be surprised that “change” is not as hard as one might believe. 
 
When I learn and practice new strategies that actually work (and those are the only ones I share), it brings more peace, it de-escalates tension, it increases my confidence, it strengthens my intention to show up in my life and for my son in ways that help us both.
 
You are invited to more peace. 

Topic #1  ~  Behaviors Make Sense

Behaviors make sense in some way. People use substances because it serves a purpose. You don’t have to like it, probably won’t, but arguing with the reality of it will cause more stress.  Instead, seek to understand.
 
Some reasons why people use substances or engage in related behaviors.  I invite you to consider with compassion and kindness why any of us would reach for anything to accomplish the following:

  • To feel less anxiety
  • To relieve depression
  • To feel connected to something or someone
  • To not suffer with physical pain
  • To make it through the day
  • To get to sleep

People don’t use substances because they’re bad or crazy. They use substances because they work well, they’re fast, they’re reliable, and give a measure of personal control.  They meet a need, they serve at least one purpose.   Good to know, good to understand what's really going on.
 
Why it matters that Behaviors Make Sense:

  • It can help you take the behavior less personally and feel more empathy toward your child (yourself and anyone else too).
  • It can inspire a path where you’re not arguing with the reality of it.  You’re coming from logic, understanding and compassion instead.
  • It can help you to experience the behavior as less random, less of a surprise, and more predictable.
  • It can help you start to communicate with your child (and anyone) in a way that helps them feel understood. It’s what we all want really, isn’t it?  And it can lead to deeper compassion and collaboration.  Something I’m thinking we also want. 
 
With curiosity, connecting to your heart, gaining clarity, and communicating from a place of understanding (doesn’t mean easy or in agreement or looking the other way) we can make a difference!
 
I invite you to consider with an open mind, open heart, with compassion how behaviors, emotions, attitudes actually make sense – in others and in yourself. 

Breathe, touch your heart, feel the love in you, send it out to your child, to the world, to anyone who needs it. 

Maybe change is not as hard as we might believe.  And you’re invited to find out.  Let me know how you experience “making sense”.  
 
Love wins here!

To learn more about The Invitation to Change Approach, please click here:  https://cmcffc.org/about

To Peace and Possibility!

Joanne

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    Music

    ​Weeds or Wishes ?
    ​

    ​When I look at the photo above, I could see weeds, or a field of dreams.  I'm reminded of making wishes as a little girl. As I blew on what I thought was a weed, seeds rising into the air,  I went along, and into the world of possibility and dreams. What do you see? Weeds? Dreams? Something else?

    ​This is an invitation to consider how we see the world, what is our perspective and how does it affect our lives...Ask yourself, open up to experience your heart and mind meeting to uncover the truths that lie beneath and beyond our stressful thinking, allow your own answers to arise, and discover possibilities, all for you, and from you. 

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​Copyright © 2022  Hearts At Work, LLC
  • Home
    • Newsletter
  • The Work
    • Why work with a Certified Facilitator?
  • Joanne
    • Mandated Reporting
  • Events
    • Rx for Peace
    • Invitation to Change Family Group
    • Webinar ~ Enabling
    • Mother's Retreat
  • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
  • Reflections
  • Resources
    • Supporting A Loved One in Treatment
    • Supporting A Loved One's Recovery
    • Questions to Ask Treatment Providers
    • Grief
    • 75 Ways to Manage Stress
    • Letting Go
    • Addiction Treatment Resources
    • Books, Videos, etc
    • The Art of Healing
    • What is Wellness
    • Gratitude Practice