He left another detox again. When I brought him there the day before after an ER visit, he was barely able to stand much less walk. Following the call to just do what feels right for me, I chose the 45 minute drive back to his usual places. Didn't quite have a plan after that. The plan was to allow whatever may be and just do my piece, for my peace and in peace.
There are times I haven't listened to that call, for valid reasons and with self-compassion, and thankfully there's another way. Love finds another way, thankfully another time. There he was! Coming near the busy intersection but I couldn't stop in the middle of traffic. Just then the light turned red! I called him over and he hobbled to the car, inviting him into the car, he agreed. I offered him food, he said yes. After eating, I asked him if he has any thoughts about what he'd like to do on this night. Again, he chose detox and we called the one he wanted. They had a bed! One hour later, he's admitted. I was told by a few people not to do this again, just to pray, that that's all we can do, protect yourself, you've done enough, he has to do this on his own, he hasn't hit bottom yet - blah blah blah. The heart knows. The heart paves a way. The heart guides along the way. This is the way of Love. Love thanks them for their concern and says good-bye. I release the distraction, breathe back into my heart's wisdom. This is about my peace and my understanding of Love. They were thinking results for a long-term future and pains of the past. Understandable! Love is thinking presence, it shows up, next steps revealed. He's there or he's not - either one Love remains. I want to remain there as much as possible. I can share this with my son, I can share it with someone else in his honor, it happens now and it happens later. Love lives now without restriction of time and place, of who gets it, it invites us to live it, feel it, grow it, share it. This is the Love that resides in each of us. Feel it. Breathe into stillness, into quiet. Get to know your body's signals. When your feels open and expansive, that is the heart aligning with the body and balancing out the fearful mind so that you can better consider alternatives that feel right for you. Listen. Some think its impulse or intuition, divine guidance. Whatever it's called, it calls you. You are your own expert. Your heart, your body will know. Ask yourself what feels right for you and how you'd like to lay your head down at night with your own yes or no. Notice whether your body feels open or closed off. When you're in your own truth, aligned with your heart and its wisdom, your body will feel more open, you'll sit or stand taller, breathe easier, an inner strength and knowing revealed. There's a peace about it. Become the observer in the next few days of your own intuitive, heart, Love guided "yes's" or "no's" and notice how your body's wisdom can inform your decisions. We do the best we can. What feels right one day may not the next. This path is hard. Each situation may have it's own uniqueness. Still there are guideposts along the way. Of course consider the guidance of others, seek it, and have some solid healing and peace practices. This helps you tap into your own inner guidance, and it is the one that really matters. Sometimes we ask for confirmation of what we already know, sometimes to make sense of the answer that may feel the most right when we're between a rock and hard place, or we take an opportunity to listen to what feels more right when we hear it. Breathe, get still, ask, listen. Recall a time when you heard the whisper of what felt right for you, you listened, and you knew. Seek your own truth. It is your heart, your soul, your inner wisdom, truth not fear, and it knows. Love will always wait, it's always available, it gives a trillion second chances. Love wins here! Peace be with you and your family, Joanne
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