Enabling is a word that keeps coming up around me. There are some who would say I'm "enabling" in that judgmental kind of way in my current situation. OK, everyone gets to have their own opinion based on their own understanding. It's not personal. But here's the thing, I know how to find my own truth. I know truth lives in kinder action with awareness and intention, understanding, and peace, and lots of practice and reflection on what works and what doesn't.
So I'm going to enable finding my own truth, and come out of judgment, fear, worry, guilt, and whatever else is going to delay this process. And then I'm going to include the education and guidance from others, and my own wisdom, and years of training and practice. Yes, I am enabling! I enable the conditions for connection, compassion, clarity, communication, care and contribution to possibility. I enable love and the way it shows up and sounds in unique, ever changing, individualized situations.
I enable the kind of conversations that are conversations, not opinion and judgment dumps that I'm "enabling". But if that's what shows up too, great. I can consider if I am, and if I'm not. Thank you, it's always good to look. It leads me to consider the tools, methods, and skills that might contribute to change in any given situation, back to what is true and doable.
My first priority is to enable love. I don't need to explain it, apologize for it, or do some kind of dance defending it. I'm enabling a conversation that includes my truth and process, if someone wants to join me. I'll enable that conversation. And I respect if that's not something they want to or are ready to do. These are the conversations I'll enable. And I'll enable myself to navigate into and out of whatever conversation and opinion is introduced. Neither one is right or wrong, either leads me to keep asking me what feels right, true and kind based on my pursuit of education, wisdom, life practice, growth, and that it proves to work. It's not about opinion, it's about truth and life application that works.
The great thing about this practice is that it transfers to every interaction and communication with my son. What do I want to enable? LOVE. What is that going to look like and sound like? What do I need to do for me to re-connect to it? What will get in the way of that? What thoughts or fears will delay me, interrupt me showing up as LOVE, with LOVE? And I will question them. Why does it all matter? Am I living my intention? What do I need in order to navigate all of this?
For me, the thing that matters most, the bottom line of it all is that I keep trying. I want to enable all of this, and it must start with me so that I am better able to create it with my son who needs it from me, and especially when he can't get there on his own; when he's not loving himself; when he's doesn't sound particularly loving; when it's hard for him to even receive love feeling shame and unworthy. That's when it matters most for me to enable love, the kind of love (not fear) that is going to allow me to show up with my son through the muck and not muck it up, or at least not muck it up as often as I used to, not perfect, and possible of growth and connection.
I'm enabling? Yes, yes I am. I'm trying to enable LOVE. Care to join me?
What are you enabling? Let's enable Love. Love wins!
Weeds or Wishes ?