It's not supposed to be like this.

The struggles of addiction are real and many.  There are desperate attempts to convince someone to get help, begging, blame, shame, such intense worry and profound sadness one can barely function.  We say "this was never supposed to happen to someone we love, the insanity of this is just not supposed to be this way."  Yet, the disease of addiction is absolutely like that, isn't it.  We can, though, break through some of that suffering.  These breakthroughs are supposed to be like that too.

They don't call it a family disease for nothing.  It affects everyone.  And, like it or not, it comes with certain realities. We can not judge it away, can't demand it away, can't cry it away, can't argue it away, can't perform magic or wish or pray hard enough to cure it away.  Of course we don't agree with the ongoing ravages of addiction or dismiss it at all, however, the result of not accepting the realities of addiction and its many effects, actually support feeling stuck, feeling helpless. and feeling hopeless.  And that can feed the cycle of addiction because we're too stressed out to be more effective, to seek new ways, learn the needed skills to communicate differently, to love skillfully, to join with others in healing and advocacy, to get energized, motivated and inspired.

I notice that my stress level increases even more when I argue with the very reality of the things, and especially the things I can't control (a very long list to be sure!).  Is this your experience also?  Instead, please join me here and now to consider how to turn this stress around into something clearer and hopefully more pro-active.

For a moment, notice what happens when you drop the need for anything to be different, when you put some space between you and the thought "it was never supposed to be this way".  Breathe and notice.  This is what I find ... Acceptance comes, breathing, calm, a consideration of what can be done, clarity not control, inspiration, maybe a really good cry to release long held emotions, effective grieving which opens me up to a real desire to send love, to be love, to live out the serenity prayer. I gain more clarity and divine inspiration when I stop arguing with the very presence of the struggle and realities of it.  Rather than saying "it's not supposed to be this way", I say "this is actually the way it is for now, AND now what?" 

That "now what" is going to look like diving into my peace practices, like taking care of my fears and emotions, breaking silence, getting out of isolation, getting support, being informed, getting into what I can do rather than running myself into a brick wall.   It's going to look like anything I have to do to show up as love, and loving, and getting some skills and tools to do that.  It's going to look like getting and giving support, to joining with others in solutions, advocacy, and voting.  I love to know why I would do anything to get out of the struggle.  And knowing my "why" usually leads me back to this answer ....

Love in action and with tools and skills to connect and communicate more effectively.  This "why" is so very important because those we love who are struggling in addiction need us to approach them as is, without shame, facing the realities of addiction head on and from hearts and minds that are clear, connected, and convicted.  This is how we contribute to the possibility of lives being saved.  We start within, and share it with another, and another.  We start within, and that shift in energy and conviction can flow through a family, into a community, into another one, and another, and another.  It is happening already!

Are there guarantees?  No, but this I know for sure ... to accept reality as is and to get into a heart and mind of what can I do, to consider what small things or big things I can do, this is the very thing that guarantees I tap into being helpful and contributing to possibilities.  This is where love is empowered.  And that is what can inspire recovery.  That is what builds connection.  And that is something we can always do.  

It is Overdose Awareness Month.  Thank you for this moment to raise awareness of the struggle, to move through it, to energize love and peace.  It waits for us, finds us and moves us to find it within and shine its light into the darkness of addiction.  Let your light shine!  Together, we Empower Love and Inspire Recovery ~  in honor of all those lost to overdose, and who remain in our hearts, always.  

From my heart to yours, I wish you peace.

Joanne