Loving a child who struggles with substance use is just hard! And sometimes you may not feel so loving because of it, it's ok! It's normal, it's human, and you can return to that loving feeling.
There are so many reasons this could happen. When we consider addiction and the effects of substances, it can get ugly, dark, dangerous, exhausting. We can be consumed with worry. Where is love then? And why isn't it saving my child?, we might ask.
We can learn new ways, try to use new tools and skills as best we can, be kind and patient and still there are times that it may seem a child continues to drift further away, become so symptomatic in mental and chemical imbalance, even violent that it seems impossible to influence or unadvisable to be too near. Love can still show up and we can reconnect to it.
In a perfect world, we'd be able to always meet our children as they are with un-conditional love, and the reality is that it's an imperfect world. We do and will place conditions on life itself. Please live. Please get better. Please, because when you don't, this worry is killing me. I want you to get better. I need you to heal. You should do something that helps you. Conditions. It's just part of our story. This too needs to be ok.
How when it gets really ugly, do we re-connect to love and that loving feeling? Because if you're like me, sometimes I easily can and sometimes it takes a whole lot of work to get it back. How does love win then? I wonder!
Here's HOW. I invite you to take the journey from worry to wonder now:
Step 1: Breathe into the present.
Step 2: Re-Connect with who you really are and how you want to feel - Love and Loving
Step 3: Live Love
Love will find you again and again and again, and you will find it. It has an energy, a power that is beyond our human capacity to truly grasp its enormous generosity. Our awareness and willingness, our intention to reconnect to Love when we feel disconnected can be one breath away (and then take a few more). From there, you can send your love out even if silently to your child whether they are in the same room, whether you know where they are or not, or how they are. Send it in honor and memory of the child that has and will always live in your heart, in honor of Love.
We need this kind of love, we need each other, we need you, you need you, your child and honoring their life needs you. We may not be able to save a life, and we can save a relationship with that life. It starts this way.
I wonder what is possible? When Love in its purest form resides within us and is shared from our heart to another's, what is possible? I wonder! How about you?
I'd love to hear about your journey from worry to wonder. Love wins here!
Weeds or Wishes ?